90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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