think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
