Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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