Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
