i don't like sucking hair
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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