Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
