The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
