.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
