Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
