I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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