Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
