it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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