the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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