Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
