Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its not stalking. its research.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
