ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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