He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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