did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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