you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
