this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
