She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
