I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize