i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
