Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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