sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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