If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
