just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
