Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
