Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
