remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
