just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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