in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Randomize