the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
