Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
BRING THE BAGELS
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
