are you still at the devil's house?
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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