so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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