dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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