I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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