Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just invented taco cereal.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize