I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
