Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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