She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
