New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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