We won't sleep together?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you would pick up someone in the library
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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