he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
