is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
