Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
