tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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