I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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