so explain again why im purple
no
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
