He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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