But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
