So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
