i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
did you just send me my own nude
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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