go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
