yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
