Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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