That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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