I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
