whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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