He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
