What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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