if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I would ride that face into the sunset
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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