i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
