She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
